Me, Me, Me

I’m a writer.

How did you come to be one, you ask? My mother died.

Yes, yes, very sad, thank you for your condolences.

With that came an epiphany.

“Life is short,” said my inner voice.

“Thanks, I.V.,” I replied. “I know what I have to do.

And in two and a half years, I’ve gotten an agent, co-written two books, ghost-written another, published an article, completed one novel, and started a second one.

Here’s my resume. On paper, it looks like I’ve never had a real job. In truth, all this experience adds up to make me an expert at storytelling. Malcolm Gladwell-style.

Acting (OK, not a living, but actual folding money. Studied with Meisner)

Ticket Services Manager at City Center Theater (Phones, headsets, getting yelled at)

Stand-Up Comedy and Comedy Show Host (See “Funny Stuff” page)

Cheese-Cube Sample Passer-Outer (A low point)

Focus Group Headhunter (Are you a 22- to 25-year old Latina who listens to public
radio?)

Wrote Copy and Proofread for Direct Marketing Firm (Big client: Casinos. Favorite
slogan: We’ve got LOOSE SLOTS!)

Ideation Agent (I didn’t make that up. Paid to brainstorm.)

Proofreader/Editor for Big Pharma (Brought in the Benjamins, sucked at my soul)

Artistic Director of an Improv Company (Hire, teach, coach, book)

Please enjoy this very old photo of me in role of Mother/Hooker in MY SOUL IS MINE when I was an ACT-OR!

lynnmarie-leopard

I no longer look like this, but I still have the coat.

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